November 26th

Turns out that I took like...14 days off. A fortnight if you will. Back to it.

• My computer is on the 30 day DL retroactive to the 16th. Three weeks basically. Some bullshit about a piece of solder and the motherboard. Turns out I might lose everything too. Which is only mildly depressing. It isn't depressing because I have a lot of important stuff. Everything that I had on there I was done with and had been turned in. It is depressing because I am in season two of a Madden Franchise that I am 7-5 in and fighting for a playoff spot. Again, not a big deal, just a little irritating.

• I am not in the Christmas Spirit and refuse to be until something important happens. Like December first, that would work. Plus, Christmas commercials blow. Really, let's do something creative. And as soon as I see one of those wackass Kleenex commercials with the claymation-esque noseblowers, I'm going to blow a gasket.
  

• If Ohio State goes to the National Championship game, I am going to watch the game with Geoff. Drunk. That's the only way to watch OSU football, or any other Big 10 team for that matter. Plus, we will have a bet if they play West Virginia. For each point that WV wins by, I get one dollar. For every point OSU wins by (not bloody likely) I he gets a dollar. I have complete faith I will win at least $14 in this scenario.

• How good is home? I mean honestly. I like it here at school but home is where it is at. Watching the Cavaliers at the Q or at home with my Dad, talking literature with my mother, hanging out with my brother when he is around and not at work...it's fantastic. I just had a week at home. Good Lord, how hard is it to come back to school after that? Damn near impossible. And the thing is, I know people who miss school when they are at home. How? I miss home when I am at school and I am counting the days until I get to go home for winter break.
  

• Turns out that my knee is OK. I know that you were worried. No big deal. Just a little twisty, that's all.
  

• If Anderson Varejao doesn't want to play in Cleveland anymore, that makes two of us. He isn't going to get his money regardless. I'm just irritated that we didn't trade him last season to get Mike Bibby like I was saying we should have...on my other blog. I called all of this. Once I figure out how to link, I'm going to link to that. Fuck him. And fuck his brother and his agent. They can all go to Brazil and hang out and wait for nobody to want to pay them.
  

• Today I began a diet. Workout and or racquetball four days a week, Slimfast for at least one meal a day, cut down on fat, increase proteins and fruits and veggies. I will let you know how it works. This came about because I'm bigger than I ought to be and need to drop about 15 or 20 pounds. It can be done. I just have to make it happen. One thing is for certain, around Christmastime and New Years, fuck the diet. I am pulling out all the stops. As my friend J-Cro would say "To hell with health right now. Eat. Drink. And for God's sake, be merry. It's a celebration bitches". Amen to that. And by the way, if over break you see me eating leftover beans, ham, cookies, and potato salad and drinking a beer or a glass of wine...don't you dare say anything, if I respond, you will be sad about yourself.

Donnage out.

Turns Out I'm Not Quitting. Nov 12th.

Hey, been a while. I would love to give you some long drawn out story about why but frankly, it seems boring. Here goes.

• Reports of my quitting have been greatly exaggerated.

• I.H: While your comment about quitting easily and the rest of my life being sucky is noted, it is not the reason for the comeback. Life is sucky sometimes, I know this and everyone else does, but here is to perseverance. PRESS ON INDEED MY FRIEND!

• How cool was the football video? There are more but I don't feel like waiting 40 minutes for them to upload. They are available upon request.

• I would like to thank The Fighting Illini for making the BCS Title Game worth watching. OSU losing made my weekend and my college football season. Now Oregon and LSU can play each other and it will be a great game. Oregon by 7. Plus, how annoying is OSU? I mean, I know you guys whooped up on Akron, Youngstown State, and the crappy Big 10 Conference and all. Please. O-H......N-O!

• I sort of twisted up my knee in a botched piggy-back attempt this weekend at OSU. I requested the ride, my friend obliged. I jumped to get on his back...and he...ducked. I went over the top and twisted it a bit. This was Friday, I am still a little swollen and stiff and definitely sore. I can put weight on it though and it hasn't caused me poor sleep so I am not too worried. Someone pass the Ibuprofen.

Peace, Love, Hoops. The Donnage.

I quit

I am quitting blogging. The video, which took a half hour to upload, does not work. In addition to this greivance, my blogger flung itself into a different language once, and twice would not let me upload the video until today when it let me...but now it does not work.

Peace, Love, Hoops

October 30th.

Ok, so yesterday I took the day off so that I could post the following videos.

Quick, what can you do with an NFL sized football, a BG Falcons blanket, some duct tape, and a study break? THIS:

Why you ask? I in turn challange you to answer the question "why not?". But, for those of you who still want to know why. This is why:

• It was ridiculously fun. Seriously, we had guys from down the hall come try it out, I kicked (that is my roommate), I did comentary on the camera, and most importantly, nobody got hurt. "GREAT SUCCESS" (Borat 2007).

• It was something that fulfilled two basic needs: What to do during a study break. And how to fulfill my Roomie's innate desires to kick a football and to remain indoors. I had only the latter desire but did need the study break. Plus, it was a rough week and it turns out that sometimes, kicking things is a good way to get out some frustration.

• It was something that we could do that we knew would be fun and that we knew would probably get people in the hall at least interested in something other than the restroom, the water fountain, and dumping their recycling. Socially, the floor is a bit bereft saving my roommate and I and a couple other people. They call my building and the ajoining one "The Lonely Towers". Anything that I can do to garner some sort of social stiumlation I feel is my obligation to do.

• On a side note, I went to Wendy's the other night and...they were out of chicken all together. No nuggets, no breaded, no grilled, no "homestyle". Nothing. Now, I ask you, how does a fast food place on a campus of 21,000 students run out of chicken? The answer is simple. It doesn't. This is clearly a conspiracy while Wendy's brass figures out how to do one of the following things: 1. Make the sandwiches appear to be different. Or 2. actually makes an effort to not have the same chicken sandwich on the menu twice at two different prices, under two different names. For their sake, I hope it is the latter. I shall keep you abreast of developments as they come in.

• I would like to thank the unreasonably obnoxious Screaming Preacher who hollers at the top of his lungs outside the union for ruining my english class today. First of all, I don't care about anything he is saying. At all. Not even a little bit. Second of all, why the yelling? Third of all, what the fuck were people sitting 20 feet away from him listening for? Seriously, if I can hear the guy 200 yards away why do they need to be like...on top of him? All of you stop it or you are grounded. For being obnoxious.

Peace, Love, Hoops.

October 29th

Today I will be taking the day off. Suffice it to say, it will be well worth the wait. I am currently trying to figure out how to upload a small video clip (or several). It includes: NFL sized football, blanket, and running commentary. It will be worth it. That much is for sure.

October 28th

If you haven't noticed, I did just as my blog description says I would do from time to time and took days off. Seven of them to be exact. Let's get back into things.

• My roommate and my buddy sat in the cold to watch BGSU lose to Ohio U. It was terrible. The were out of it, in it, out of it, and finally, the gap was too wide to do anything about so we left. What a disappointment. Although I will say this: The team is talented but coached by a complete moron. Ineffective use of talent, poor gameplanning, bad special teams, stupid penalties, and putting guys in a position to lose instead of giving them a chance to win. Brutal.

• If you like chicken covered in delicious things, do yourself a favor and find a Jed's. Fireballs are what they are called. They are little balls of chicken spun in a sauce of your choice and you can get one of any number of topping combinations. I had Coney Balls. Chilli, cheese, onion, mustard, coney sauce, and I had it spun in a spicy sauce. It was fantastic. And reasonably priced. Check it out. Jed's. Tell 'em The Donnage sent you. It probably won't matter but if nothing else, it might be worth watching them flounder to act like they feel like they should know what that means even if they don't know, and probably shouldn't know.

• It's nice to finally have some good friends here to hang out with. It took a really long time but it turns out there are a lot of good people around and they are fun to hang out with. Good times.

• NBA basketball starts on Wednesday. People hate the league and say it's a joke. These are the same people that watch: College Basketball, Nascar, a lot of baseball, and shows like Jail Break. Get with it people. If you want to watch reality TV, throw on an NBA game. There is more drama than you can get anywhere else. Drama as far as the game goes, and drama with guys like Kobe Bryant. Drama with coaches, contracts, personality conflicts on teams, rivalries, you name it. And by the way, the NBA is the only professional sports organization where everyone on the floor is extremely athletic. "But Donnage, what about MLB?" Do a Google image search for Mo Vaughn, then talk to me. Football? Okay, if the 6-5 380 pound Ted Washington is an athlete, I'm in the mold of Dan and Dave of Olympic fame. I actually had someone say "Nascar drivers are athletes." Really? Look people, just because you turn left and hold your bladder doesn't make you an athlete. It makes you someone who stays away from water on race day and someone that would be awesome at driving on the turnpike. Get real.

Hopefully, I will have more for you tomorrow. I would like to do this daily but, as it says, "Sometimes, I will take days off".

Peace, Love, Hoops.

October 21st.

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY! It wasn't really that exciting. I was pretending.

• Went to Wendy's again. What this is is part of my never ending quest to find a good goto chicken sandwich. It's tough, it really is. But what happened today was Fast Food Magic. I got a Grilled Chicken Sandwich with a slice of swiss cheese. Fantastic. Juicy, well seasoned, adequate sauce (yes I realize this was fastfood). New Goto meal: Grilled Chicken, Biggie Fry, Biggie Coke. Money. Two ketchups and exactly three napkins. These are things you discover when your girlfriend works and your roomie is out of town. Don't judge.

• Fuck the Redsox. If you root for the Redsox and claim you hate the Yankees, you are a hipocrit. Even worse than that, you have no reason to hate the Yankees or care about the rivalry unless you are 40 or older. The Sox buy their guys just like the Yankees do and made the all time Yankee-esque move this summer. Trading a young budding prospect for an aging, ineffective, injury prone closer. Well done. Congrats on buying your trip to The Series with overspending on guys like Nancy Drew...I'm sorry, I hear he goes by JD. Fuck the Redsox and fuck anyone rooting against the Rockies.

• Snapple, the best stuff on earth, makes the best green tea on earth. Nectarene? Mango? Green Apple? You bet. And it is all ridiculously refreshing. It's one of those things though that they should sell in bigger bottles because I start taking a big drink and my tastebuds go "god damn that is some good shit, just keep drinking". And my throat goes "for sure dude, keep it coming. Is that Pomegranite? Damn, sure is. Solid" and next thing I know, it's gone and I still have half of my Grilled Chicken and like...all my fries.

• Had a fabulous bottle of gamay rose the other day. Wonderful, crisp, clean finish, a little green apple aftertaste. And no legs at all. Even though it's rose, no light really gets through it. Very solid and well worth the $17 that I dropped on it in Canadia (and no, that is NOT a typo).

October 20th. Party Time.

• Last night I hung out with my buddy down the hall and we were having a few beers and plaing some video games. He kept saying "It's Party Time right now" and it was indeed Party Time. At one point he opened up a beer and it sprayed all over and soaked his pants. He immediately looked up and said "Dude, tell me it is not Party Time!" Perfect.

• I am going to go to the hockey game Tuesday night. I don't like hockey but someone told me that the games are a lot of fun and easier to follow than hockey on TV. I have no idea how easy or difficult it is to follow hockey on TV but I am kind of excited to go to the game. Now, if I can get some people mobilized to roll over there with me, we will be in business.

• I am no longer interested in college football. Nobody wants to win anything except Ohio State and I HATE OSU football. They are vastly overrated and the only reason they are that high is because people feel like they should be because they are OSU and a couple other teams lost. Very shitty. So congrats Buckeye Fan, you beat up on shitty teams like Youngstown State, Kent State, Akron, and Michigan State. That's like a 40 year old man walking up to a six year old and punching him in the face then proclaiming himself to be the best fighter in the country. Fuck you, Buckeyes.

• I tested my Wendy's Chicken Sandwich theory agian yesterday. My friend ordered a Homestyle sandwich, I got the Chicken Club. I WAS RIGHT! Those sons-a-bitches are pulling one over on everyone. Please, everyone, spread the word on this. I think that the American Fast Food Consumer deserves to know what is going on here.

Peace, Love, Hoops

October 19th

It was a very busy day today. Here are some thing.

• My girlfriend's roommates are becoming exponentially less tolerable as the days pass. I am now invisible when I go over there. She lives with five other girls and only one saw me and smiled. Didn't talk. Smiled. I don't like them. I'm charismatic and charming and these girls don't even acknowledge that I exist. It's brutal.

• We made Tacos. My girlfriend and I that is. They were good and it was fun. We also made some homemade salsa that was also really good. Especially since we just wung it on the ingredient amounts. It tasted real fresh and it looked real fresh too. A success.

• How do you know you go to a university that nobody cares about? When the team's football games are not on TV anywhere, no bars around town have them on TV, there are no ads, and I was talking about QB Tyler Sheehan to someone and they said "who is Tyler Sheehan?". It hurts me as a sports fan and as a Bowling Green State University Falcon that nobody cares. There is zero school spirit. Disgusting.

• Why is it when something goes wrong, everything else does too? My girlfriend's car has no tail lights so she was going to drive my car to work today. My car wouldn't start. Once I jumped it, it just fucking sat there. The car was in drive...BUT IT WOULDN'T LET ME DRIVE! I got this vision of my car just giving me the finger every time I gave it gas and it revved the engine but didn't move. My car is a son of a bitch, that's what my car is.

• How come nobody puts out CD's with more than one or two good songs anymore? Maybe it's my fault for expecting greatness from artists that have previously been great. Nas, 50 Cent, Kanye West, Talib Kweli, et al have been disappointing. The last three CD's that I can remember listening to the whole way through and loving all of them were "Wreck of the Day" by Anna Nalick, whatever James Blunt's first album was called, and "A Healthy Distrust" by Sage Francis. Problem is, neither of those CD's are less than a year old. Also, since there was nothing else decent to listen to, I played them to death within like...three months of discovering their greatness. This sucks because since then, nothing has come out that has made me excited enough about it to play it a lot. Old Tupac stuff is great, there are a couple good songs on Kanye's new CD, but that's about it. I think it is a sad commentary to say that when a CD has 4 or 5 really good songs out of 15-20 that that album is a success.

Peace, Love, Hoops.

October 18th

Let's to it.

• I want to punch Kevin Youkilis in the fucking face. He makes me want to throw up just because of the way his face looks and he way he sounds when he says "Pedroia".

• Nance, settle down. Honestly. You know that I think that Emily Dickinson is the single greatest American poet ever. You didn't even stay in the same time frame I was in. Also, I don't want to read Walt Witman. It was ruined for me by a terrible teacher. All I am saying is that in the time of BF and the other bunch of sorry ass losers, the literature sucked. Clearly, around the time of Dickinson, there was a small turn.

• The Office is the best show ever. Ever. Problem is, they keep doing stuff outside of the office. The name of the show is not "The Metropolitan Area Surrounding The Office" or "Jim and Pam Spend Non-Office Time Together". Also, it's time to get Stanley some more air time. And enough of Ryan, I get it. He's a prick now and treats everyone like garbage so we are supposed to hate him. Cool. Overkill. Please, I do not want to spend my fall and winter watching my favorite show jump the shark.

• It is getting close to time for something cool to happen. Nothing really cool happens, there was a fight about a month ago and that was kind of cool. Recently all there has been is a few assaults outside. Not cool. I mean, I want something COOL to happen. Like...I don't even know what. That's how long it's been since there was something cool, so long that I cant even think of anything that would be cool.

Peace, Love, Hoops

October 17th

Today was boring. This is what I got:

• Thanks to I.H for fixing my URL. What I would have done without it I don't know. Literally, I have no idea because I don't know how to do it myself. Which sucks. Cut me some slack though, cool?

• Don't ever get triple bacon on a sub. Actually, while I'm thinking about it, don't ever get triple anything on a sub. Except maybe lettuce. In my defense though, it looked like everything else was tripled before I asked for double bacon, it wasn't enough, so I said "make it triple". The girl, forlorned, said "triple?" I said, "uh...if that's okay, please?" Do NOT make me feel guilty about my bacon habit. Just don't do it. I'm sure some of you have a diet habit. Don't judge.

• NBA basketball is my favorite thing of all time. Even moreso than bacon. We are now less than two weeks away from tip-off and I am like a kid close to Christmas. I might actually get more excited about NBA ball coming up than I do about Christmas up until like...Christmas Eve. God, that is so sad. Again, don't judge.

• At Wendy's, the Homestyle Chicken Sandwich is THE EXACT SAME THING as the Chicken Club. But it's like 70 cents more. I learned this the hard way. Do not fall victim.

• Is it bad that I hate American Lit? I don't think it is. I love Brit Lit because It's exciting and poetic. All of it is. While the Americans were writing awful pamphlets, the Brits were teaching students about Beowulf and The Canterbury Tales. My mom recently said "well America was new, they had to establish their literature." Uh...no they didn't. They could have just started up with a modification of good Brit Lit. I read part of Ben Franklin's autobiography. Here is the short version: He spends the whole time bragging about how humble he is. He then says that being humble makes him charming. Then there is extensive bragging about how charming he is. Ironic that after reading that I immediately classified BF as the least charming figure I have ever read about.

While I am thinking about that, the poetry sucks too. If you want real poetry do yourself a huge favor and look up A Valediction: Forbidding Morning. This is the single most beautiful piece of poetry ever. Seriously. John Donne puts it down.

Peace, Love, Hoops, Brit Lit.

October 16th

Today was interesting. Fantasy draft. Trip to Stimmel's Market. And the following bulletable material.

• I had a fantasy draft, as I said, and wound up with Tim Duncan and Kevin Garnett. Two of the 3 or 4 best NBA players. I also have no idea how this happened but I like it.

• Today, a classmate of mine and I had the job of deciding which one of us was going to give the presentation that we were both assigned to give. This really happened. We decided to split the presentation in half. Now, we each have to ramble for eight minutes about three pages. Of course, had we known it was only three pages each, we would have had a different plan, but since we didn't, thus I will be presenting on three pages worth of material. Fantastic.

• Anderson Varejao, Cavaliers forward, wants $13 million per year. This is ridiculous. He does not deserve this. Someone said "he brings great energy". Fantastic, so does a car battery. But every year, once a year, nobody goes to fucking Pep Boys and drops 13 mil on a battery for their sedan. I've taken a survey, this is true.

• Nance is correct. My route running is fantastic but her defense and her boxing out are fantastic. For such a small woman (physically), she can really pack a punch and knows a thing or two about positioning and using a liberal dosage of elbows to the spine and knees to the testicles. I'm not saying she's dirty, I'm simply saying she knows what she's doing.

• Don't talk on the phone when you are on the elevator. Unless there is nobody in it when you get in it. If you approach the 'vator and there are people in it, have some respect, they were there first. Would you walk into a room full of strangers all minding their own business, quietly, and scream into your cell phone? No. At least I hope not. That's another thing. It's a cell phone, it does the screaming for you. I promise, if you speak normally, it will broadcast it to whoever has to, I mean, gets to hear it.

Peace, Love, Hoops

Inaugural Bullets

So this is a direct result of ridiculous pressure from my mother and my friend. Enjoy.

• My mother told me that when I went away to college there would always be someone awake doing something late at night. That much is true. Problem is, it's the guys right next to us and the thing they are up late doing is playing Halo and screaming "HEAD SHOT" and "BOOOM" every few minutes. One day, their Halo might disappear. Just saying.

• If it was as easy to quit drugs as it was to quit going to the gym, nobody would be in rehab. But we would still be an obese population. I think the trade off is worth further exploration.

• I literally just had the following conversation with my friend Matt about Ray Lewis and some disparaging remarks my friend Dan made about him. It was over AOL IM so excuse the spelling:

"Matt Perry": if i kno ray like i think i kno ray, he's going to kill ur friend Dan for speaking his name negatively
TheDonnage: ray hears all
"Matt Perry": he actually scares me
TheDonnage: somtimes, i feel like he is watching me
"Matt Perry": cus he is, jus scouting you, he's got detailed scouting reports on pretty much every boyd
"Matt Perry": body
TheDonnage: lol
TheDonnage: my route running is fucking flawless tho
TheDonnage: i will say that
TheDonnage: and i have velvety smooth baby bottom hands.

• The other day I was very cranky due to a dispute with my girlfriend. Someone got on the elevator to go down. Fine, except they got on on the second floor. I grunted and chuckled and she said "What?" Mistake. I said "Just take the fucking stairs. Seriously." Mistake. She frowned as if she was thinking about it then said "I'm clubfooted, it hurts." I said nothing. But secretly I was thinking "I have arthritis and a migraine, I would still try".

• The following things are ruining my life:

1. The Jets being terrible.

2. The Cubs quitting.

3. Ann Coulter's face.

• If you have a sense of humor go to Youtube and search Barry Gibb Talk Show. If you don't think this is funny, check for a pulse, if you have one, make it stop.

That's about it for now. As the name implies, there will be more bullets tomorrow. Any suggestions for lists are welcomed. I would like to do a weekly top 10 sort of thing so let me know what topics you want me to list about.

Peace, Love, Hoops.